Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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