I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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