found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
