You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
