Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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