You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize
