super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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