we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
