OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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