I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
