You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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