woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
