Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
