Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
