He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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