Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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