He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
