WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
