: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
50% drunk capacity currently
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
