I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize