I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need to sanitize my soul.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
