i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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