I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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