winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize