did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
