i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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