he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize