end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
