Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
