the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
