I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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