anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
