erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
are you so shy because you have an std?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize