ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We talked him into tasing himself.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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