dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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