We're facebook friends in real life
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
