Pappa wants mamma naked
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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