i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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