My hand turned me down
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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