I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
