somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize