so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Redeem this text for a blowjob
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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