I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
