i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
