If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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