1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
