it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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