i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
