I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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