I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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