he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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