Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
