Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
