With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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