so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
