dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
