And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
