The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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