My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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