im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's just like the Real World with babies
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
