Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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