Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I seem to have left my pride at pride

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(517): View more from Michigan

i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend

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(512): View more from Texas

Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

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(817): View more from Texas

I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.

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(917): View more from New York City

I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.

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