I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
