I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
