she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
