He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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