id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
